Tears and Forgetting
by Mirune Keishiko
Summary: A night in the life of Takani-sensei, ex-ahen onna. [oneshot, WAFF, spoilers for Takeda arc]


TEARS AND FORGETTING  
by Mirune Keishiko  
  
  
It was a cool evening for late spring. A slow breeze  
turned into a gust of wind, scattering leaves across  
the empty, lamplit street and blowing through  
Sanosuke's loose-fitting white jacket. He shivered  
involuntarily as he quickened his pace homeward.  
  
He passed the Genzai Clinic on his way, and for a  
moment thought his hair was getting into his eyes. It  
wasn't late yet, but it was well after the usual  
closing time; Sano thought he could see soft yellow  
light through the window.  
  
Curious, he walked up and peered inside. A single lamp  
burned, illuminating a lone Megumi sitting at her  
desk, filling out the patients' logbook. Beside her  
was a cup of steaming tea. The woman looked up,  
startled, as Sanosuke said, "Hey in there, fox lady."  
  
She gave an amused smile on seeing him. "Oh, it's you,  
roosterhead. You surprised me for a minute."  
  
"Whatcha doin' up so late? The clinic should have been  
closed up hours ago, right?"  
  
"I just thought I'd stay over a little to finish the  
records." She gestured at the logbook in front of her.  
"Do you want to come in? It's cold outside tonight."  
  
He nodded, and went around to the entrance as Megumi  
unlocked and opened the door. "What are you doing  
downtown at this hour?" she asked him as she resumed  
her seat at her desk and continued to write where she  
had left off.  
  
"Just a couple of drinks with some friends of mine."  
He plopped down on one of the empty clinic cots.  
  
"Oh." As could be expected, Megumi's slender eyebrows  
shot up, and she gave him her cool smile. "Whatever  
made you leave so early? Usually you wait until you're  
rip-roaring drunk to go home. Or did they try to make  
you pay the bill?" The cinnamon eyes gleamed wickedly.  
  
Stretched out luxuriously on the cot, Sanosuke glanced  
at her sharply. "Onegai," he muttered, "cut me some  
slack for once in your life, fox lady." Folding his  
arms beneath his head, he shut his eyes.  
  
Megumi smiled at that, and silently gave in. It was  
too late and she too tired for a bout of the verbal  
jousting the two of them usually exchanged. She  
lowered her head, almost squinting in the dim light of  
the lamp, and continued writing. Sanosuke lay quite  
still on the cot, seemingly asleep. For several  
moments peace reigned, nothing but the crickets and  
the scratching of Megumi's pen breaking the restful  
stillness.  
  
Until a flurry of knocking sounded at the door. Megumi  
started, dropping her pen. She cursed as some of the  
ink leaked out in blobs on the page of the logbook.  
Sanosuke, snuffling softly, cracked open one eye. "Who  
is that?" Megumi called, pausing to sift fine white  
sand over the inkblots to dry them.  
  
"Please," came the thin, childish voice from the other  
side of the door. "Takani-sensei, please come and  
help. My mother is giving birth!"  
  
With a sigh Megumi grabbed her doctor's smock from  
where it hung over her chair and opened the door. A  
small child standing on the doorstep gazed up at her  
with wide, frantic eyes. Sanosuke sat up on the cot.  
  
"Metoune Shizuru! Your mother isn't due until a few  
more weeks!" Quickly slipping on the smock over her  
kimono, Megumi rushed about the clinic, gathering her  
medical instruments into a small bag. "Come in for a  
minute while I collect my things. Help yourself to tea  
if you like. Did you run all the way through town all  
by yourself?" she asked, looking back at the child  
over her shoulder as she rummaged in a cabinet.  
  
Shizuru, probably no more than seven or eight to  
Sano's eyes, was gratefully sipping Megumi's warm tea.  
She nodded in response to Megumi's question. "Please  
hurry!" she added plaintively.  
  
"Should I clear out?" asked Sanosuke of Megumi, who  
was stacking bedclothes on a chair.  
  
She glanced up at him with something of surprise, as  
if she had forgotten about his presence. "If you don't  
mind, I'd rather you didn't," she said after a  
moment's hesitation. "I have to bring a lot of things,  
and I don't think I can carry them all. And I could  
use the help--" Sanosuke, nodding, was already  
scooping up the piled linen and closing the windows.  
  
"Uh, shouldn't we hurry?" Sano knew next to nothing  
about the process of childbirth, but he had the vague  
idea that babies were prone to simply slipping out  
with no prior notice. He stood, uncertain, off to one  
side as Megumi flew about, tying a scarf around her  
face to hold back her hair. Shizuru had taken to  
tugging insistently on the woman's sleeve.  
  
"Yes, yes. I'm ready." Having extinguished the lamp,  
she hurried out the door, Sanosuke and Shizuru  
trailing after her. She turned back, keys in hand,  
when Sanosuke stepped in front of her. She raised her  
eyebrows, puzzled.  
  
"I'll lock up," he said quietly. "It looks like it'd  
be best if you went on ahead. I'll catch up soon."  
  
Nodding, she pressed the keys into his extended palm  
and turned to leave. Shizuru had trouble keeping up  
with her short legs, so after a moment Megumi picked  
up the little girl in her arms - she was very light  
for her age, the poor thing - and hurried on. Looking  
back quickly, Megumi saw Sanosuke silhouetted in the  
moonlight, locking the clinic doors behind them, the  
stack of bedclothes mounted on one shoulder. His long  
lashes cast shadows down his cheeks. A moment later he  
raised his head, as if feeling her eyes on him. Megumi  
felt a small spark of warmth blossom deep in her belly  
as he met her gaze directly, unblinkingly.  
  
Then she remembered Shizuru, who was busy tangling her  
little fingers in Megumi's long hair. Turning, Megumi  
hurried on along the street toward the Metoune home.  
Behind them she heard Sanosuke fall into step.  
  
  
  
Sanosuke winced as a low, reedy moan came from the  
closed-off bedroom. The moan quickly built into a  
lung-busting screech that went on for so breathlessly  
long that Sano thought his ears would pop. Then the  
scream abruptly terminated in a loud, strangled gulp.  
Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, Sano peered out  
the window somewhat furtively. He was pretty sure half  
the neighborhood was awake by now, thanks to the  
shrieking.  
  
Hell, he thought with a mirthless grunt, I'm pretty  
sure half the country's awake by now.  
  
He walked over to the closed door leading to the  
bedroom and hesitated, drawing a deep breath, then  
letting it out slowly. Then he knocked and slid the  
door open a fraction. "You sure you don't want any  
help?" he asked Megumi, who was checking the progress  
of the birth. Sanosuke kept his gaze carefully away  
from the futon in the room, as much to save himself  
the discomfort as to give respect to the woman in  
labor.  
  
Megumi glanced at him, quick eyes taking in the  
flushed cheeks and the look in the long eyes that  
begged her not to say yes. Tired and preoccupied as  
she was, she almost smiled. "It's all right, Sano,"  
she said, turning back to her patient. "I can take  
care of this. Just knock when the water's done."  
  
Nodding, feeling greatly relieved, Sanosuke shut the  
door and went back to his previous spot in the common  
room that doubled as a kitchen. He poked up the fire  
underneath a pot of water he had put on to boil and  
sat down in front of it, crossing his legs under him.  
In the corner, an exhausted Shizuru slept in her  
tattered futon. Sanosuke had made her get some rest,  
had taken upon himself the commands Megumi issued as  
she ministered to the laboring woman.  
  
When they had gotten to their destination a few hours  
ago - a small rundown shack in one of the poorer  
sections of the Tokyo slums - Megumi had gone into  
full "doctor" mode, as he called it. She'd taken the  
bedclothes he'd carried and thanked him, before  
shutting herself up in the bedroom, where the agonized  
wailing signaled a childbirth already in full steam.  
  
Unwilling to enter the bedroom unless it was  
absolutely necessary, Sanosuke stayed outside in the  
common room. Through the thin door and walls he could  
clearly hear the pained screaming, but also -  
filtering through it all like a calm, steady stream  
amid a raging forest fire - Megumi's voice. Calm,  
even, firm, it alternated between soothing and  
coaxing, commanding and reassuring. Sanosuke shook his  
head. That a woman could keep her head in such a  
stressful, not to mention deafening, situation seemed  
almost miraculous to him. He had been in some tight  
situations, but the idea of a woman in labor filled  
him with horror. He shuddered at the thought.  
  
Suddenly he looked up. It dawned on him that he hadn't  
heard any shrieking in some time. Megumi could still  
be heard rushing about, but her patient had apparently  
subsided. Is the mother dead? thought Sanosuke,  
frowning and glancing at little Shizuru's sleeping  
form.  
  
And then, a thin, shrill wail came to his ears.  
Sanosuke started at the sound, coming unexpected in  
the midst of silence, and saw the white steam  
billowing out from underneath the cover of the pot of  
water.  
  
He was about to knock on the bedroom door when it slid  
open in his face. Megumi looked out and came face to  
face with Sanosuke's bandages.  
  
"The water's ready," he said, proffering the basin of  
hot water in his arms.  
  
"Thank you, Sano." She was visibly tired, but Sanosuke  
noticed an odd sort of glow in her drawn face,  
something like triumph. "Please, bring it inside. You  
can come in now." Megumi led him inside the room.  
  
"Is she all right?" Sano, setting down the basin on  
the floor near the mattress, glanced dubiously at  
Megumi's patient. The thin, frail-looking woman  
appeared to have fallen asleep, sweat beading her  
face, damp in her hair and pillow.  
  
"She's very tired, but she'll be fine. The birthing is  
over." A small, tired smile curved Megumi's mouth.  
Tenderly she wrapped in a towel the red-faced,  
squirming newborn, whom she had laid on the floor on  
the last of the clean bedsheets. Sanosuke, on his way  
back to fetch more hot water, had to stop and look.  
  
"He or she?" he asked softly, coming to kneel beside  
Megumi. He stared, fascinated, at the tiny infant, who  
was yawning prodigiously.  
  
"He." Megumi gently pressed a kiss to the small  
forehead. "I have to finish up with this baby's  
mother. Sanosuke, can you hold him for me in the  
meantime?" Sano's sudden panicked look proved  
irresistible, and despite her weariness, Megumi  
laughed. Not her usual "fox lady" laugh, but real,  
quiet laughter. "It won't take very long," she  
reassured him soothingly. "Now, fold your arms like  
mine. Be sure to support his head at all times. His  
spine is still very weak, and there's no telling what  
could happen if his head isn't supported." Carefully  
she placed the infant in the arms of a  
poleaxed-looking Sanosuke. "And don't you dare drop  
him," she said in mock-stern tones, rising to her feet  
and returning to her patient's bedside.  
  
"You have such confidence in me," Sanosuke said  
sarcastically. She arched an eyebrow and said nothing.  
  
The baby had fallen asleep, sucking on his tiny thumb.  
Gingerly carrying him, Sanosuke inched his way to the  
doorway, afraid that any sudden moves on his part  
would send the infant tumbling to the floor. He heaved  
a sigh of relief once he had made it safely into the  
common room. Shizuru had awoken and now came forward  
eagerly.  
  
"You've got a brand-new baby brother, kid," Sanosuke  
said, the gruff words softened by his smile.  
  
"Can I hold him? Please please please?" She reached up  
her thin arms, her dark eyes bright and happy.  
  
"Mm... Well, okay. Just take care of him. And Meg-the  
doctor said for you to hold his head all the time. Be  
careful, all right?" And Sanosuke cautiously  
transferred the baby to the young girl's arms.  
Shizuru's small face shone as she beamed down at her  
sleeping brother. You'll be having a different look in  
your eyes once that brother of yours starts growing  
up, Sanosuke thought with a grin, remembering the many  
siblings that had made his life so hectic as a child.  
  
The door to the bedroom slid open and Megumi stepped  
out, wan and pale, carrying her bag of medical  
instruments. Her slim hands fumbled to untie the scarf  
around her head. Sanosuke turned to look at her  
questioningly.  
  
"Daijoubu," she softly answered his unspoken query.  
"She's sleeping well. She should be all right in the  
morning." Megumi smiled tiredly at Shizuru, who was  
still cradling her baby brother. "Omedetou,  
Shizuru-chan. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful sister.  
Have you thought of a name for him yet?"  
  
The young girl shook her head. "I don't know. What's  
your name?" she asked suddenly, looking up at  
Sanosuke.  
  
Sano grinned ruefully and shook his head. "Trust me,  
kid, you don't want it."  
  
"You didn't tell her who you were?" Megumi slipped off  
her bloodstained smock. "Shizuru-chan, you're far too  
trusting. This man is Sagara Sanosuke." She waved  
toward Sano, who grinned sheepishly.  
  
Then Megumi became more serious. "Shizuru-chan, come  
over here for a minute. There are some important  
things you need to know." As the little girl came  
toward her obediently, Megumi put an arm around her  
and knelt so that she would be face-to-face with her.  
  
"Your mother is going to be fine, Shizuru-chan," she  
said gently, "but she needs to sleep for now. Try not  
to disturb her, all right?"  
  
The little girl nodded, her face mimicking the  
seriousness on Megumi's.  
  
"Tomorrow I'll come back and check on all of you. For  
tonight, you are responsible for your brother."  
Shizuru nodded again, eyes wide with the gravity of  
her responsibility. Megumi smiled. "I'm sure you'll do  
just fine. Just send for me anytime if you feel like  
it, okay?"  
  
"Hai, Megumi-sensei." Megumi looked at her  
questioningly as the little girl pressed closer as if  
to confide. "Sanosuke is nice." The girl smiled up at  
her.  
  
Megumi raised her eyebrows, her mouth curving in a  
slight smile. "Yes, it's a nice name, isn't it?"  
Twinkling with amusement, her eyes went to Sano, who  
had his back to them, some distance away busily  
putting out the fire.  
  
Shizuru shook her head, impatiently. "No, I mean he's  
nice," she whispered, her bright eyes on Sanosuke.  
"Sanosuke-san."  
  
"Sano?" Megumi felt almost amused. "Yes. Yes, he is."  
  
"Don't you like him too, Megumi-sensei?" pressed  
Shizuru innocently.  
  
Megumi opened her mouth for a reply and found she had  
none. Instead, she glanced over at Sanosuke, who  
seemed to be taking far too long to put out the little  
fire. "I can't really tell you," Megumi finally  
whispered to Shizuru. And before the puzzled little  
girl could say anything further, Megumi stood up,  
preparing to leave.  
  
"I'll stop by again tomorrow morning, before my shift  
begins at the clinic. Do you think you'll be fine  
until then, Shizuru-chan?" The little girl nodded  
solemnly, and Megumi smiled. "All right then. Sanosuke  
and I'll be leaving now. Sano?"  
  
"Yeah." He came forward, paused to riffle the little  
girl's dark hair. "I'll see you around, kid." His  
features hidden in shadow, he stepped outside the  
shack. Megumi started to follow, but Shizuru's small  
voice stopped her.  
  
"Megumi-sensei?"  
  
Megumi suppressed a sigh, turned back. "Yes,  
Shizuru-chan?"  
  
"Domo... arigatou. We'll pay you by the end of the  
week--"  
  
"It's all right." Megumi squeezed the child's shoulder  
gently. "It's free."  
  
  
  
For several minutes they walked along the still, empty  
streets in silence, Sanosuke following Megumi a few  
steps behind. Only their footsteps - hers soft and  
precise, his more casual and almost shuffling - broke  
the late night stillness. Megumi was too tired to talk  
and thought longingly of her warm, soft futon waiting  
for her at her apartment. She cast an envious glance  
at Sanosuke, who didn't seem to be the least bit  
enervated and walked along wordlessly, seemingly deep  
in thought.  
  
They had passed several blocks before he broke the  
silence. "That was awfully nice of you."  
  
Megumi, suspicious of a more sarcastic, biting comment  
underlying his words, said nothing.  
  
"Oei, I meant that as a compliment. You don't have to  
be so guarded." The tone was faintly apologetic,  
faintly annoyed. Megumi sighed.  
  
"Sumanu. Thank you for the compliment. But even if I  
weren't so nice, I'd be obligated to do what I did."  
  
"Can I ask why? Or are you too tired to talk anymore?"  
  
He's giving me a way out, Megumi realized. She  
honestly didn't feel like discussing it. Not only was  
she sleepy and bone-tired, but the topic was a rather  
personal one. Still, she appreciated his  
thoughtfulness by giving her a plausible excuse not to  
talk about it.  
  
He took her hesitation for a no and fell silent, not  
wanting to force the issue. Megumi looked weary and  
haggard in the dim moonlight, and Sanosuke, watching  
her trudge along the street in front of him - her  
dragging pace so different from her usual brisk,  
graceful walk - felt his heart soften toward her in a  
way it never had before.  
  
To his surprise, she spoke. "Shizuru's father was a  
skilled woodcarver. They weren't rich, but they lived  
comfortably, until he died last year." She paused. "Of  
an opium overdose."  
  
The last words hung in the air. Sanosuke looked  
quickly at Megumi. Her face was absolutely  
statementless, but half-hidden in the sleeve of her  
kimono her slender white hand was fisted tightly.  
  
"You?" His voice was low.  
  
"He was... one of the many." Megumi might have been a  
statue, so pale and blank was her delicate face.  
  
Disconcerted, Sanosuke thrust his hands deep into his  
pockets, scuffed his shoe in the dirt. What could he  
say? "Megumi--"  
  
"I've left my old life behind," she interrupted him,  
speaking quietly and softly; half to herself. "I've  
started over. It's been months since I was working  
under Takeda, since I was producing those packets of  
slow death. I work at a clinic now, using my knowledge  
and my skills for good. Who knows how many lives I  
save, every day? How many people I help and serve?"  
  
Silently Sanosuke quickened his pace, in order to  
catch up with her. They had reached her small  
apartment; she had come up to the doorstep and now  
stood staring at the ground, as if unable to go any  
farther. Softly, almost plaintively, she continued to  
speak.  
  
"I've enjoyed my fresh start, I've embraced my new  
life willingly. The happiness and contentment I have  
now - I almost forget all the things I once did. My  
old life. The old Takani Megumi, making her Spider's  
Web so that one man could get rich at the expense of  
other people's lives."  
  
She stared down at the step broodingly, eyes shadowed,  
brow furrowed ever so slightly.  
  
"But at times like these - when I come face to face  
with the consequences of my past..." She sighed,  
shaking her head. "I have forgotten. I have begun  
again. I am happy. But what of those who cannot  
forget? Who still suffer because of the crimes I  
committed? Who will relive for every day of their  
lives the evil I did that even I have forgotten?"  
  
Her voice, the low, passionate words trembling with  
grief and regret, sank to a whisper. "What of people  
like Shizuru and her mother, reduced to poverty  
because I murdered yet another man with my poison, and  
the baby who will never know his father?"  
  
"Hey." The interjection slipped almost involuntarily  
out of Sanosuke's mouth, as he saw the tears glitter  
on Megumi's face. It was unusual to see coy, spirited  
Megumi so sorrowful, unusual to hear her talk about  
her inner fears and troubles. Concern overwhelming  
him, he stepped toward her. She did not resist as he  
pulled her gently close to him, let her sob brokenly  
against his chest as he stroked her hair. "Shh. It's  
going to be okay," he whispered soothingly, feeling  
her hot tears soak into his bandages.  
  
It was a strange feeling, to embrace and comfort one  
with whom he had always been at odds. Megumi and  
Sanosuke were notorious for sniping at each other  
incessantly, as Yahiko had once put it, "every single  
time they got together." But at that moment, Megumi's  
wet cheek against his chest, his strong arms around  
her shoulders, seemed the most perfect, the most  
natural thing in the world.  
  
Megumi's breath was hot against his skin as she  
struggled to stop crying, gasped for breath, her body  
shaking with emotion she strived to contain. She  
raised her hands, began to push him away. "I'm sorry,"  
she whispered, biting her trembling lip as she turned  
her tear-streaked face away. "It's late. You should go  
home..."  
  
But Sanosuke held her firmly - gently, but with a  
subtle strength that made escape impossible. Megumi  
tried to walk away and found she couldn't. Startled  
and suddenly angry, she flashed at him cold, if red,  
eyes, trying unsuccessfully to break his grasp on her  
shoulders.  
  
"What are you--"  
  
"Megumi." Intense brown eyes pierced her own. "Don't  
run away. I'm trying" - the low voice softened almost  
imperceptibly - "to help you."  
  
She stilled at that, as if giving up. A small sigh  
quivered through her. She laid her forehead against  
Sanosuke silently; the tears had stopped, but she  
found she couldn't stand by herself just yet. And it  
felt so good to stop and lean on someone else's for a  
change...  
  
Megumi felt Sano's strength reach out to her,  
supporting her now that her own strength was sapped.  
It was getting colder as the night deepened, but she  
felt enveloped soothingly in his warmth. She held on  
tightly to his arms. The muscles shifted sensitively  
beneath the skin, power and strength kept well in  
check in the veins.  
  
"You're worn out." The voice was gruff, unaccustomed  
to carrying blatant concern. "It's been a long night.  
You should think about this when you're rested, when  
your head's clear."  
  
Megumi nodded wordlessly against him, her black hair  
gliding over his hands. Sanosuke had never imagined  
her hair could feel so smooth and soft, like the  
finest silk. He suddenly became aware of her nearness,  
her warmth, the tempting softness and curves of the  
woman he held so closely; her fresh, sweet smell of  
gardenias - mixed with the more subtle, musky scent of  
Megumi herself - seemed to almost drown him. He caught  
his breath, feeling beneath the kimono the smooth,  
soft skin of her back.  
  
The first pangs of her sorrow over, Megumi had grown  
quite still, her eyes shut, lost in the welcome warmth  
and Sanosuke's faint, indescribably alluring scent.  
She felt rather than heard the sudden catch of breath  
in his lungs, the convulsive swallow. Her fingers  
accidentally brushed against his chest, and the smooth  
skin quickened; Sanosuke let out a low, guttural moan.  
Suddenly conscious of his bare skin against her face,  
the play of the muscles in his arms, she looked up at  
him, feeling heat rush inexplicably to her cheeks.  
  
Megumi's cinnamon eyes were crystal clear in the  
moonlight. Sanosuke found himself staring deep into  
them, noting absently that the red-brown streaks of  
color were only surface marks, that beneath them the  
black pupils were bottomless and endless. Blood had  
flooded her face, tainting her cheeks faintly pink.  
She looked so beautiful, felt so soft and tempting in  
his arms, that almost before he knew it he had gently  
met her full red lips with his own.  
  
Megumi whimpered softly as Sanosuke's mouth sweetly  
covered her own. As if afraid she would break, he  
kissed her with a tenderness she had never suspected  
to exist within such a strong, fiery man. She  
responded eagerly, cupping his face with one strong,  
delicate hand, letting the other wander along his jaw  
and down his neck. Feeling Sanosuke shiver beneath her  
straying fingers, she smiled into the kiss. Fire was  
burning in her veins, surging through her body,  
burning with an empty, gnawing ache... "Come inside,"  
she whispered boldly, her lips moving against his. Her  
hand left his chin and groped blindly for the door to  
her apartment.  
  
Sanosuke felt lightheaded, bereft of the heat and  
softness of her lips. The moment she finished  
speaking, he impatiently claimed her mouth again, the  
gentle tenderness giving way to stark hunger, feeling  
hot arousal start to build inside him. He slipped his  
tongue between her parted lips, entering and exploring  
the heat and sweetness of her mouth as she moaned  
softly. Her whispered words took some time to make  
sense in his fevered head.  
  
When they finally did, he felt he would go crazy with  
the fiery heat building up, throbbing inside his body.  
Tonight, he thought dizzily, his hands tangling in her  
long, silky hair, tonight, I come inside...  
  
With a groan he pulled away, withdrew. Megumi could  
not hold back a small, disconsolate wail. The warmth  
evaporated, leaving Megumi shivering in the cool  
night, as he stepped backward, away from her, shaking  
his head and clenching his shaking hands into fists.  
  
"What's the matter?" she demanded, confusion and  
disappointment in her soft voice.  
  
Sanosuke, trying to catch his breath, averted his  
eyes. If I look at her for just one moment, he  
thought, desperately, I won't be able to stop myself.  
"This isn't the time for this," he said in strangled  
tones.  
  
"What?" The sensuous heat had turned to simmering  
anger, injured pride.  
  
Sanosuke shook his head again. Shoving his trembling  
hands in his pockets - his fingers remembering the  
slide of her hair between them - he quickly turned  
away. "This isn't the time," he said, low and  
quavering. "Megumi... We can't do this. Not tonight. I  
don't want to..." He trailed off. I don't want to take  
advantage of you, he finished silently. Not while  
you're sad and confused and vulnerable like this.  
  
"I thought you wanted me." Forgoing modesty for the  
truth, Megumi spoke clearly, almost bitterly.  
  
Sanosuke almost smiled, except he shivered slightly at  
the words instead. "Wanted" was an understatement. He  
could feel the blood rushing hotly in his veins, the  
sharp, sweet ache of unsated desire pulsing through  
his entire body. His jangled nerves sang keenly of the  
few steps it would take to cover the short distance  
between them and take her back in his arms, pick up  
where they had left off. After all, she had invited  
him -- technically he would only be taking her up on  
her offer. It would be so easy... so sweet, and so  
satisfying...  
  
"Kami-sama knows I do," he muttered harshly,  
swallowing. "Kami-sama knows..."  
  
..right now I feel like I could make nonstop love to  
you until the sun came up. He swallowed again, past  
the tightness in his throat. What he could remember of  
honor and nobility, of respect for Megumi, railed  
desperately against the rest of him, which blindly  
sought satisfaction, an end to the ache of his desire.  
Megumi was confused, sad, tired, lonely; she wasn't  
thinking straight. If they ever did get to that point  
in their relationship - which as it was had yet to be  
clearly defined- Sanosuke didn't want it to be hurried  
or hasty, tainted with regrets or bitterness. Megumi  
deserved better.  
  
But, he thought desperately, if I don't leave now,  
I'll never be able to again...  
  
"I better go." The memory of her fingers tracing  
teasingly along his skin burning in his mind, he  
forced himself to turn away, from the disappointment  
and hurt on Megumi's beautiful face, and left.  
  
For several moments he heard nothing, only his  
footsteps on the dirt street. Then, behind him,  
Megumi's swift footsteps, her door opening and then  
slamming shut again. He shook his head. She would hate  
him forever. He would have to avoid her for perhaps  
two or three weeks from now. Maybe even a month...  
  
He thought of her lips, sweet and soft on his, and  
sighed. He might as well go fishing, idle away the  
time until dawn. His whole body was tense and taut,  
thrumming with frustrated arousal, and almost painful  
with the great temptations he had refused that night.  
  
There's no way I'm getting any sleep tonight, he  
thought with a sigh.  
  
  
  
--owari--  
  
  
notes: Hmmm! Well, what did you think? Anything and  
everything you can find to fling at me (praise and  
flaming both) is welcome. Oh,  
and if you think Megumi seems to be acting a little  
out of character here, it's just that she's very,very  
tired and sad. I believe Megumi is one of the more  
misunderstood and/or misinterpreted characters in RK,  
so I wanted to make her a little more human, more  
many-sided here, instead of simply the lovely, cunning  
"kitsune-onna" with the sly little "ohh-hohohohoho!!"  
laugh we've come to know and love.  
  
disclaimer: Megumi, Sanosuke, and the Genzai Clinic  
are not my property; they belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki,  
though I am barely worthy to speak of such a great  
man. (Oh yeah, also to Shueisha and Fuji TV and I  
think Sony Entertainment.) Shizuru, her baby brother,  
and her mother are figments of *my* imagination, thank  
you very much. For people who would know, Shizuru-chan  
is named after a certain brown-haired chain-smoking  
young woman. E-mail me to know if your guess is  
correct! ^.^x


End file.
